Saturday, October 25, 2008

Totally For TSO: The Campaign Gets Ugly

Two posts in a row, what do you know? This one is more bringing the funny. I didn't write it, but apparently this thing has been floating around the internet. It's the political campaign, brought down to the level of...a roleplaying campaign. I don't even get all the references, but I know someone who will. Cough cough.

Full thing can be found here, and it's pretty hilarious. Yes, it makes fun of McCain (as WELL as others) and he is a veteran. Like I said, I didn't write it. It's still funny.

A couple excerpts, though you should really go read the whole thing, especially if you are a gamer...

GM: OK, the bugbear attacks you. What do you do?

OBAMA: I send one of my 672 henchmen after it.

MCCAIN: OK, seriously. Why does he have so many henchmen? I'm a level 72 ranger and he's only a level 8 paladin.

OBAMA: Well, if you'd bought the Grassroots Organizing and Oratory/Colgate Smile proficiencies you could min max it so that you...

MCCAIN: Why is he even IN this campaign? I thought this was supposed to be a high level party.

OBAMA: Well, maybe some people got tired of the grim and squinty "Matterhorn, son of Marathon" shtick you keep doing. Dude, could you be any less original?

MCCAIN: Oh my god, I did not leave my left nut in a tiger cage in the Tomb of Horrors to spend my Friday nights mopping up after the new kid.

OBAMA: "My friends, I am a totally unoriginal grizzled character class stereotype. I should lead the party because I have more testicular damage than that one."

My favorite was probably the one underneath...

RON PAUL: I brought my Planescape character!

OBAMA: Dude, we're playing Forgotten Realms.

RON PAUL: I rift in from Sigil! I'm a Chaotic Neutral Tiefling Barbarian/Monk/Rogue!

MCCAIN: DUDE, that is not even LEGAL.

Really, this whole visualization makes everything make sense.

GM: You guys, seriously, if you don't knock it off with the bickering I'm going to start docking XP.

MCCAIN: You know what? Fuck it. I'm suspending the campaign.

GM: You can't do that! Only I can suspend the campaign! I didn't suspend it for the 1988 Mountain Dew shortage and I'm not going to suspend it now.


Red Horse: War said...

Mom, can you bring me more hot pockets and the bed pan?

I laughed, however, my Level 70 Dwarven Retribution Pally did not. He's still pissed about losing the battle of Alterac Valley this morning.

Red Horse: War said...

Oh. This is a differnt TSO incarnation by the way.