Yes, Darling, You Can

I didn't post about it, because it had nothing to do with the cause I fight in this blog, or my military life. I didn't post about it for two weeks, and that fact is probably one of the most shameful things I've done in activism. It wasn't intentional, but can I honestly say that a corner of me wasn't wondering: will I lose my street cred on the Iraq War if I come out in full opposition to the Yes On Prop 8 folks? To quote Emerson, "As soon as he has once acted or spoken with eclat, he is a committed person, watched by the sympathy or the hatred of hundreds, whose affections must now enter into his account."

But that is low. That is small, and puling, and weak, and low, and I refuse to do it any longer, if in fact I ever was. If any of you think less of me because I see nothing whatsoever against gay marriage, then I'm sorry for your opinions, and you're welcome to cease associating with me at any time if you are so moved to do so.

I hear a lot about reasons why Proposition 8, banning gay marriage from being recognized in California, passed. One of the things I hear about is an ad, in which a cute little girl is heard saying "Mom, guess what I learned in school today. I learned how a prince married a prince, and I can marry a princess!"

Not known to most, because I don't talk much about it, is that I, too, have a little girl. I don't mention it because politics is vile, and I didn't want her to see someone outside her school yelling at her because of her mother's opinions. I may not mention it again after this post. But she is beautiful, and smart, and everything a mother could dream.

Why is that ad so vile? More importantly, why is that ad so scary? If my daughter were to come home and tell me that, that she learned she could marry a princess, I would not be afraid. I would scoop her up in my arms, like I do for all the serious conversations, and say, "Yes, darling. You can be a lawyer, a poet, a dreamer or an astronaut. You can be anyone you want to be and if you want to be a princess who marries another princess, then I will dance at your wedding and laugh with your children no matter whose Y chromosome they bear. Because I love you, and your happiness is worth more than my own."

And all I've got to say about this issue comes from a song from SonIa, which is absolutely amazing and expresses pretty much how I feel about not just this but a lot of issues, including patriotism and why I'm involved with IVAW. And I hope and pray that my daughter, no matter who she decides to love or what she decides to do, can always feel safe enough to come to me like this. It's called, "Me, Too"

Her daddy was a soldier in the Vietnam War
And she was proud to see her father in a fresh-pressed uniform
He came home on a stretcher in 1966
Welcome back - fellow Americans throwing tomatoes and sticks

He said, "Darlin', don't you worry, there are two sides to everything.
I did what I believe in; I want you to do the same.
I stood up for my country, and that's a solid bet.
And I'll stand up for freedom every chance I get."

Because America shines, in front of me
All the world could see if they wanted to
I raise this flag for you,
Me, Too

She grew up on a bible, she grew up on love
She grew up thinking she could change the world, if she only worked hard enough
She became a lawyer, hoped to marry a good-looking man
But she fell in love with the girl next door, so that wasn't part of the plan

Because America shines, in front of me
All the world could see if they wanted to
I raise this flag for you,
Me, Too

The years spin by while the corn grows high
For every train you catch, you miss one
So watch your life just racin' by
It's time to tell Daddy this one

She sat down in the corner, she could still see the door
She said Daddy, I've got to tell you something I've never said before
He said, "Shhhh. Everybody has a war."

You see, it's not about oil, and it's not about guns
And it's not about rainbows, it's about daughters and sons
If you believe in tomorrow then I have taught you well,
'Cause if you don't believe in yourself, life's a living hell

And you'll always shine in front of me
All the world could see if they wanted to
I raise this flag for you,
Me, Too